It’s the end of the world as we know it.

The Fall of Rome: A very condensed version by me and my friend Claude. He is funny, teaches me history, and can be wrong.

At the end of its existence, the Roman Empire took two hundred years to collapse; perhaps we have a little time left. This is very similar to a toddler falling asleep at a birthday party or perhaps a press conference — bring on the diaper bag.

This is my first, and perhaps, my last political blog.

The leaders could not stop murdering each other or their people. They also attacked each other’s business ventures. During that last part of Rome’s hold on the world they had fifty leaders with the average tenure being shorter than most people keep their streaming subscriptions. The modus operandi was “whoever has the most soldiers/or followers wins.” Ambitious generals notice this and acting accordingly, while drinking with superstars and taking testosterone. One of those leaders split the empire in two. They may or may not have been red and blue teams.

Rome got too big for its diapers. At its peak, the empire sprawled across two million square miles, with no mail-in voting or means of sending messages from one end of the schism to the other. The divided electorate in the United States (which is not at all united at this point) is reminiscent of the Roman Empire literal split in half.

Seperation of the lower class from the upper class helped the fatkatz use the stock market and Polymarket to achieve their goal of a wealthier life.

The money got bad, and everyone knew it. Perhaps it was in the double-digit trillions. They did it to pay for their wars. The fatkats kept shrinking the size of the things they produced = think about corporations quietly making the bag of chips smaller and hoping nobody notices. Prices soared; farmers went broke. Cutting food for the population deepens the wealth gap. ‘Let them eat cake’ BTW that actually means the cake (aka hard stale crust of bread). And then, the wealthy landowners scooped up the wreckage, because that’s what wealthy landowners do. Hum, capital venture groups, I’m looking at you.

Heavy taxation on the lower class was imposed to fund the military, bureaucracy, and corruption.

Rome was dependent on slave labor, discouraging technological innovation. The US has flipped that on its ass. Either way the tax base shrinks and wealth becomes concentrated in the top 2%, the state’s capacity to fund its army and infrastructure has diminished, creating a self-reinforcing cycle of decline. Disproportionately hurting those same small farmers and the lower and middle classes, pushing many into poverty or dependency on wealthy landowners. Try renting any house or apartment without going through a huge company.

Rome fell in part because of a tangled succession; the US has a similar problem. All of those in charge refuse to let go of control, hindering what needs to be done just to keep it in their grubby hands.

Federal debt with currency debasement: The dollar is not worth what it used to be; bought gas lately? Lettuce? —oh no, don’t buy that. Inflation is through the roof. As of right now the USD is slowly being replaced as the world’s currency. The petrol dollar will most likely not be based on the USD soon.

Trade problems. Trade routes that once connected Rome to distant provinces became less secure as central authority weakened. Does this sound like a certian waterway that was once open and now isn’t? I’m sure that tariffs fit in here somewhere, which stops a trade cold.

Then the “barbarians” showed up; groups like the Visigoths and Vandals pressed into Roman territory, many of them fleeing the Huns. They were rumored to be eating the cats and the dogs. Now I will insert a video by a real historian on this topic: watch it now, or at the end, I don’t care, but watch it. WATCH THIS if the link doesn’t work: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DbawNDjMdox/?igsi=dmNmM2N2NHU3cjZ0

Last but not least: Some long-dead poet named Juvenal coined the phrase “bread and circuses” to mock the citizens who had apparently traded civic engagement for a halftime show. Roman emperors kept the public happy — or at least distracted — with free grain and spectacular entertainment: IndyCar chariot races, and gladiators tearing each other apart in Thunderdome on the lawn of a big white building with columns. All state-funded = more taxation.

Now comes to my friend Claude’s summation: “Our political polarization echoes Rome’s factional violence, though nobody in Congress has been assassinated by their own troops recently.” Claude, I must disagree with you on this one. How about the violence against state congressional members (MN- most recently) and more than one federal congressional member? Gabrielle Giffords and Steve Scalise, for example, with many others injured. Threats of political violence. January 6th, remember hang Mike Pence? That doesn’t even begin to start with the citizens that have been murdered by federal agents.

Rome fell in part because their military was outsourced into irrelevance, as the lapdog of another country, starting more wars near and afar.  This I’ll take from Claude, need I say any more?

Are we there yet? Do we have another 250 years of decline? Can we pull it together and be an adult once again, leaving the Depends behind…pun totally intended. Even now, Rome still stands, and has incredible food. That’s what we really need to remember. Yes, it changed its name slightly, and its leadership. It changed the way society interacts with government. Perhaps we can head in that direction too. The fall of Rome could be a good thing. Maybe? I guess?

pooh